


Possibly Traumatic Stressful Dating

by Ginger Jam (skylite)



Series: Enchantments Ascend The Falls [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Gravity Falls Dating Sim, Swooning Over Stans
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Mild Horror, Original Character - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 07:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylite/pseuds/Ginger%20Jam
Summary: Summary:   Dajan and Ford kind of started a whirlwind romance after Ford made her crash her car ...and things get interesting when Dajan comes back for a visit at the end of the summer.UPDATE:  Now with illustrations.CONTENT WARNIING:  Stan's language gets a little past PG-13.  A little squicky body horror occurs once Stan and Dajan arrive in Gravity Falls in chapter 5.   Some fairly graphic descriptions of injuries appear in chapter 6 once Dajan and Stan enter the woods.





	1. Prelude:  Strange With a Capital S.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by Swooning over Stans, the Gravity Falls Dating Sim by https://gfdatingsim.tumblr.com/ and the talented artists and writing people who put together a fun game.
> 
> It's always a great feeling when someone else's work has inspired me. I get to show my appreciation by making my own creation in return. So thanks very much to the whole GFDS team for stirring my creative cauldron.
> 
> Special thanks to @donteatacowman who Beta read for me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highly abridged summary of what happened between Ford and Dajan in the Gravity Falls Dating Sim. Skippable if you've played it down Ford's path to 90%.

Dajan Weatherell was back on the road. She almost regretted it. Her road trip had taken an unplanned detour on the way through Oregon and she'd ended up taking an unexpected detour in a town called Gravity Falls. 

The reason for the detour had been strange with a literal capital S. The car, borrowed from Dajan’s cousin, had suddenly decided to speed up and go straight, ignoring Dajan’s attempts to slow it down or stop. The thing that finally stopped it turned out to be a quaint but kitschy cabin in the woods. Mystery Shack, said the sign before the S dropped onto her hood, making a loud crash and smashing enough things beneath that there was smoke issuing from beneath when she came to. 

That had been all it had taken. A tall stranger had made sure she was all right. He'd turned out to be named Ford and one of a set of twins, the other of whom answered to Stan. 

The one was so sorry for using a small but powerful magnet to accidentally yank her car off the road. The other had agreed to fix her car. They never quite explained how, or presented any mechanic credentials. But they were a couple of smooth talkers and before she'd realized she might possibly have hit her head, Dajan had not only accepted the promise of free car repairs, but free lodging until the repairs were done. It was only when someone said it might take weeks that she had her “WTF?” moment. But by then, it was too late to back out gracefully. 

The family, which included another pair of twins, the great niece and nephew of the Pines Brothers, did all they could to make Dajan feel at home. 

At home for this family apparently included cryptid hunting. Dajan had originally done it to avoid finding out just how bad off the car was when she'd offered to help Ford create mothman repellant to protect his niece’s pet pig. 

One thing had led to another and Ford had revealed himself as a kind hearted (the repellent was non lethal), gifted (some Xerox copies of pages from his journal revealed him as a skilled artist) mutant (after obtaining a moth from the Mothman, Dajan realized that going for a high five, Ford had six fingers… Explaining why he'd offered her a joke rather than a handshake!) world traveling adventurer. Getting the moth had been mildly embarrassing for Dajan, but Ford had humored her curiosity and politely overlooked her awkwardness. 

A friendship had started in earnest until Mabel, the niece, had decided she'd seen chemistry between Dajan and Ford and decided to encourage it. Dajan had been reluctant… Not that Ford wasn't attractive (boy was he)... Nor the extra fingers; she'd seen body modders do far more unusual things than something that occurred naturally. Dipper also contributed in his own way, helping Ford teach her to RPG, something she’d always wanted to try. Dipper also was the more protective over his two uncles, giving Dajan suspicious looks. But when Mabel announced she arranged a date for her and Ford, Dipper kindly offered her advice, and pointers for when Mabel decided to up the ante. 

Before she knew it, two weeks had passed. Stan had fixed the car, and Dajan was finding herself feeling go fluttery every time Ford walked into the room. Mabel’s idea of a romantic date had involved cupcakes and glitter. Her idea of upping the ante involved a sweet but ultimately doomed attempt to make them dinner. 

Unfortunately, Dajan had the idea their age difference was why he seemed to be unwilling to do anything about the attraction between them. She was afraid she'd misread him, and so struggled with her own heart. 

Worse, she was feeling dismayed that while her vacation would be sidetracked it was also ending just as she was getting to know this charming older man. 

It turned out that Ford had a closet full of secrets… starting with the explanation for why he was so awkward at the whole concept of dating. 

Due to an accident, Ford explained, he had been time displaced by 30 years, and shortly after returning to Earth, he had been part of something called Weirdmageddon. 

Dajan thought she'd made all the appropriate sympathetic reactions, genuinely offered sympathy and support, but despite being willing to open up and get playful and affectionate at the pool, Ford had still maintained his distance. Perhaps he didn't believe Dajan took his story seriously. He never said. 

Taking the time displacement into account added another factor to Dajan’s own doubts and worries. Maybe it wasn't the age difference but the race difference… Which was kind of a dealbreaker. 

By the time the car was ready to roll again, the whole family had managed to become dear to her, shoving aside the worries altogether. 

To her surprised delight, though, it was neither! Ford asked for a moment just as Dajan was saying her goodbyes and trying to swallow a lump in her throat. 

He indicated he and his brother would be shoving off to sea again, but he'd be interested in a long distance relationship with Dajan if she was willing … Starting with writing letters. It was a good way to get to know him better.


	2. Prelude:  Strange With a Capital S.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dajan reflects on her visit to Gravity Falls and her growing affection for a guy twice her age. The feeling is mutual with Ford, so they start up a long distance relationship.

Getting home to the east coast took way longer than Dajan would have preferred, but thanks to the -- hospitality -- of the Pines family, she had enough cash left to stretch out in a modest three star hotel on the way home. An air mattress was okay for the two weeks… Better than the lumpy threadbare sofa left open to the elements for sure. But a real bed was just what she needed. That and falling asleep after a cheap meal of comfort food… 

Dajan woke with a snap just before nodding off altogether, and sent Mabel a courtesy text to let the family know where she was, that she was safe, and that Mabel should feel free to text anytime for more friendship advice. Given the over enthusiasm that girl had displayed in two short weeks, over absolutely everything, Dajan pondered if she’d live to regret staying in touch with the living pompom that was Mabel Pines. 

But she remembered her own awkward teen years were no picnic either and having an older friend might have helped. Dajan ended the text with a heart emoji, a good night, and shut the phone down completely to charge lest Mabel’s ebullience result in a restless night of text notifications. 

The next morning, powering up the phone with continental breakfast proved Dajan’s intuition correct. She spent a good twenty minutes texting with Mabel before getting back on the road. The kid kept her company for 90 miles or so, with voice command taking dictation and reading text back. 

Back in her tiny apartment, a dollar store frame now held the photo of the family. It held an honored spot right on Dajan’s nightstand. 

Her roommate Khrys had loved the question mark coffee mug, and had tried to nudge Dajan into spilling details about the mystery man who left her frequently drifting off into daydreams with a sweet, lopsided smile on her face. Dajan begged off, though, partly from the parts of the story she didn't feel safe retelling, and partly because the rest of her visit was in its own way still sort of unbelievable, even if Khrys would be more likely than most to believe. Dajan herself had picked up a Mystery Shack question mark shirt and was wearing it as a nightshirt; kind of a bittersweet reminder of her new friends. 

Khrys had managed to wheedle the magnet gun part of the story out of Dajan, and with it, the photo of him and the family. 

“Hold up, he's a silver fox? And which one? They're both unbelievably hot for older guys.”

Dajan smiled dreamily. “I know, right, could you cut yourself on those jawlines? But Ford’s the cute one. Cracked glasses. Six fingers. Cute chin cleft! Loves grape and black raspberry Popsicles. Dotes on his niece and nephew… those kids are just thirteen, but wow, protective of their great uncles. Ford left a forwarding address. I should get around to writing him, huh?”

“Pen pals?” Khrys didn't quite manage to keep disdained surprise out of her voice. But she caught herself and tried again. “I--I mean, he's that old school?” 

“He’s way old school. Also? Lives on a boat,” Dajan began, and got up to go to her room. Further conversation with her curious cousin would only lead to more questions she wasn't sure she could sensibly or safely answer. 

Long distance dating a temporally displaced scientist with a semi-retired criminal twin brother and lively niblings was turning out to be more fraught with challenges than she'd expected during their whirlwind summer romance. But the letter, writing it, and telling Ford she missed him was already starting to help.

> Dear Ford:
> 
> This is me, keeping my promises to remember you (as if I'd forget!) and to write you a letter. I’ll keep it short. Things are fine here. Life is pretty dull by comparison. Gravity Falls may have spoiled me for the dull city life. I wish I had a plush plaidypus to keep me company. Maybe Soos will put them in the gift shop if I text Mabel and ask her to ask him. Maybe the Shack has an interweb page! 
> 
> It goes without saying, but I want to say it anyway. I miss our adventures and fun times together. I miss Popsicles, and watching meteor showers. I miss you. 
> 
> Hope you're doing well. Say hi to Stan. Write when you can.

Once the letter was done, it was twenty minutes of wembling over her signature. “xoxo? Love? Yours truly? Sincerely?”. Was the note too forward? Ford was skittish, with good enough reason, Dajan had to admit. Consequently, he liked to move slowly. He was a gentleman, and respected her for more than her looks, which is part of why she'd found him so attractive. She had the feeling more than once that she'd nearly frightened him off altogether during her visit. Long distance would make it simpler for him to bail if she hit a nerve. 

She eventually settled on just her name and a heart, handwritten in purple ink at the bottom of the typed note. Dajan stuck it in the envelope, and sealed it. Before losing her nerve, she stamped and addressed it, then ran it down to the mailbox. 

 

Dajan received a reply. Postmarked Gravity Falls?! It turned out that although the younger twins had gone west to return home in time for school, the Stan O’War was back in dry dock for repairs again - something about a defective part still under warranty. The rest was all for her though, awkward endearments and a written wish that it might be easier for her to visit again since they were back in town. 

Plane tickets were not completely out of the question. Nor was driving again, though her favorite method was just a little outside the realm of the possible. But Dajan had been so upset and frustrated then captivated that it hadn't occurred to her to use it to just pop home. Just as well, really. Ford’s own secrets had been hard enough on the scientist’s nerves. Dajan revealing her own so soon was just not a good idea. That didn't mean she couldn't make use of her own special circumstances if it meant getting to see her potential boyfriend again and maybe persuade him to come a little further out of his shell.

> Dear Ford, 
> 
> I unfortunately can't swing another two weeks, but with a little notice a weekend before you head back out to sea would be doable. I could bring Jelly beans and we could try for a dinner that doesn’t come from the glitter kitchen of Chez Mabel. Say the word. 

Ford’s response came only a few days later. The brothers planned to set out again the second weekend in September, so Labor Day naturally fell into place as “the weekend before”. Ford’s contribution to the date was an 80s sci fi film festival one town over, since Mabel insisted he'd feel more comfortable if he got more familiar with some of the time he'd missed.

Dajan noted the location of the theater, promised to make reservations at a nearby restaurant, texted Mabel since Ford still had no phone, and Stan hadn't shared his number yet; Dajan sent Ford a hand drawn postcard of her remembrance of the Mothman cave saying only “It's a date!”


	3. Old Movies, New Worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Friday Night Date: Will Ford's insecurities torpedo their relationship before it gets a chance?

**Friday:**

And so it was that Dajan showed up on the steps of the Mystery Shack bright and early Friday morning of the holiday weekend, decked out in her usual particoloured outfit. Stan answered the door and swept her up into a bear hug. “Hadta be done, kid, ” he said with a wink. “Mabel woulda never forgave me”.

Dajan laughed. It was not even a stretch to imagine Mabel telling her grunkle to hug Dajan until her ribs creaked. “I see you got a new extension on the house…?” she jerked her chin guiltily at where Khrys’ car had plowed into their house thanks to Ford’s mega magnet. There was a work in progress going on. 

“Wasn’t your fault, kid, and it's an opportunity to add to the Shack.” After giving Dajan an awkward, if sincere, pat on the shoulder, Stan paused in the doorway to the gift shop. “So you and Sixer really having a go, huh?” 

Dajan shrugged. “That's the plan, yeah”.

Stan made a grumbly noise in his throat, paused, then spoke in a quiet voice. “Awright. Here’s the speech then. Me and Ford have our ups and downs, but he's still my twin brother. And I been lookin’ out for him my whole life.”

Dajan smiled slightly in immediate understanding. “So if I break his heart, I won't know what hit me?” she ventured, touched that their relationship was growing closer once more. 

“Not only that,” agreed Stan with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, “No one will ever find the body.” He seemed to find Dajan’s wide green eyes and audible gulp a satisfactory response. The warmth returned to his face and voice. “I’ll get Ford. You two have a blast, huh?”

It was a short, uneasy wait for Ford to come out of… Wherever he appeared from. There was, to Dajan’s recall, the showroom, the work room, Stan’s office, the gift shop, the living room, the room they'd turned into a guest room for her, and the attic the twins shared when they visited. And the new extension. There had to be at least two more rooms since Soos and his abuelita were back on the premises. 

“... Hello, Dajan. You look… Very nice.” Ford’s arrival was so quiet that Dajan startled with a little squeak. Stan’s protective words were already setting her nerves on edge. But she recovered quickly and sprang to her feet to embrace Ford. 

“You too!” It was clear that Mabel and Dipper had looked up some fashion online for him. He still wore That Cool Coat, but he also wore a black t-shirt reading “Stand Back, I'm Going To Do Science!” and matching black jeans. It was stylish but subdued enough that Ford would be comfortable. Someone, perhaps Soos’ abuelita, had tailored the outfit so they fit his still trim form. Very nicely. 

“I didn't hear you pull up,” Ford frowned slightly. “I wanted to see how the car’s holding up.” 

“Khrys wouldn't let me borrow it again,” Dajan confessed, laughing. “I took a bus then a Lyft to Greasy’s, and walked the rest of the way. What's on the agenda until dinner? I made reservations, but you don't have to wear the suit again unless you want to go fancy.”

Ford regarded Dajan in thought before shrugging. “Adventures are out, unfortunately. Other than the gnomes, most of the off-the-map attractions prefer late afternoon and evening. So… “

“So?” 

“You spent your last visit learning about me. I think it's time I return the favor.“ Ford extended a six fingered hand. “A walk down to the lake? What do you say?” 

Dajan took the hand and they easily laced fingers again. “I… The walk sounds great. Not much about me to be said. Dull compared to your family.” _Oh, my stars and garters, I'm still in the crush zone_ , Dajan thought. _Still all smitten with the cute looks and That Cool Coat, I never stopped to think he'd eventually ask me about myself!_

“Even if you think it will seem dull, I'd still like to hear it.” The warm smile set Dajan’s thoughts scattering. 

“Quit giving me those eyes“, Dajan protested playfully, “if you want coherent sentences!” 

“What eyes?” Ford asked, clueless, and glancing toward the gift shop over his shoulder. It took a second for him to catch Dajan’s meaning before he gave a modest, embarrassed chuckle. Together they walked out into the morning sunshine. 

The rest of the day passed in pleasant company. They sat with their heads together like conspiratorial teens, Ford patient and gently cajoling Dajan as she struggled to come up with something more interesting than “Khrys, my cousin, is the interesting one. She’s a parkour dj. I'm what Mabel would call a book nerd. I manage a bookstore”.

“Surely by now, you must know I'm one of those myself,” Ford replied gently. 

Ford plucked a locked cooler out of the lake’s chilly waters and surprised Dajan with a small picnic lunch: apples, cheddar goat cheese -- “Gompers was not involved in the process, I assure you.” -- a sourdough from the local bakery and wild boysenberry jam. “Soos’ grandmother is a whiz in the kitchen. Her preserves are selling like… Mabelcakes.”. 

They shared a laugh at the inside joke, and spent the afternoon wandering the woods until it was time for dinner. The Lyft took a few minutes to arrive because of how far out of town the Shack was, but soon they were rolling along. Dajan hid a smile in the collar of her jacket watching Ford struggle not to fiddle with all the gadgets in the vehicle within his reach. She silently noted down what got his attention most and saved that for if he had questions later. 

Dinner was at a cozy little cafe Dajan had found on TripAdvisor, decked out in warm browns and reds, lit with strings of warm golden lights. “I figured that if you two are gonna set sail in a week, you'd probably want some home cooking. Of course, whose home is up to you.” The menu boasted dishes from around the world, all modestly priced. Good old American fare sat side by side with Indian, Hungarian, Greek, Moroccan, and French. 

Dajan ordered a jeweled mutton pilaf. Ford chose a steak souvlaki, and after all the walking and fresh air, they fell to their meal quickly, silently agreeing to let conversation wait. Dajan had of course eaten in front of the family before, but not when she wasn't kind of a guest. She'd been kind of holding back so the kids could have more, and to make a good impression. But if we're gonna go for this thing… _Well, time for him to see a little more of the real me._ Dajan made short work of her plate, leaving not a dollop of sauce on her plate, before neatly stacking her dishes in size order for the waiter’s ease.

They mutually agreed after the meal to save room for popcorn and movie candy. Once the bill was settled (Ford kindly covering the tip after Dajan insisted on covering the meal), it was only a leisurely walk down a lantern lit street to the theater, where the multiplex offered several double feature combinations. 

“Dajan.” 

Dajan looked from the poster to Ford’s suddenly earnest and vulnerable face. “Yeah?”

Ford glanced around at the middling-sized crowd of other couples milling about, then back to Dajan. “Stan’s right when he calls you a kid. And you're out here with an old fellow like me…” 

“Oh no you don't!” Dajan said at once before he could continue his thought. “if you were about to say something like ‘you could have your pick of any man’ that’s a viable theory you have there, but the point is, I took my pick, and I picked you. So no more of that, thank you very much!” Dajan kissed her fingertips and pressed them to his cheek, just at the corner of his mouth. A crinkle of those brown eyes and a smile that blossomed into a full grin told her she'd intuited his concern right. 

After a brief conversation, Dajan suggested the Action-Romance double feature of **_Flash Gordon_** and **Somewhere in Time.** Terminator had been in the running until Dajan had remembered the love scene. _Waaaay too racy._ “I’ve never seen either of course, but they appear to be classics of their respective genres. I'm sure I'll be entertained. Even if this is redundant for you?” 

Dajan laughed mildly. “Oh, Ford, part of what makes them classics is their re-watch value!” With that, she allowed Ford to pay for their tickets then hauled Ford by one six-fingered hand toward concessions. 

Once they were seated together in one of the theater’s two person love seats, Dajan’s immense cloud of fluffy auburn curls caused a small kerfuffle until the mom of the complaining teen moved them so “that cute couple could enjoy their date in peace”. Ford’s blush went straight to his ears, but Dajan produced a bag of jelly beans, distracting him before he could sink into a self conscious introspection. 

“... Oh look, they even used the old trailers!” Dajan whispered, excited as the screen lit up. 

Four hours later, Ford and Dajan emerged from the multiplex, arm in arm. **_Flash_** had been silly and over the top but Ford had to admit it was a fun update on the serials he'd watched with his brother. Somewhere in Time had been a romance with a time travel twist. Both of them had ended up just the slightest bit damp eyed at the bittersweet ending. The time-displacement romance of the latter film had really hit Ford where he lived.

“And the best part,” Dajan said coyly as she pulled up the Lyft to return them to the Shack, “Is that if you want, we can co-read or co-watch anything you like from the last 30 years.” She dipped into her little clutch purse and handed him a smartphone. 

“Don't you go protesting,” Dajan said gently as Ford opened his mouth. “It's not brand new and I got it used for a song so there's no drama if it falls overboard while you're wrestling a baby Kraken or whatever. But before you leave, you can load it up with whatever you like and give me a jingle when you feel like sharing an experience with me. ” 

“Are you ever going to stop surprising me?” Ford asked, holding the door for her. 

“Not immediately,” Dajan replied with a giggle, “as long as you find them enjoyable.”

A comfortable silence descended, and the driver was perceptive enough to not break it, earning him a 5 star review. Another tip and the car’s rear lights soon vanished into the night. 

“We can do the film festival again tomorrow and watch another double feature, or…” Dajan trailed off expectantly. 

“Or,” echoed Ford, bending to kiss Dajan on the forehead. “It's a surprise.” 

Dajan, still the more forward of the two, accepted the chaste kiss and gave Ford an embrace around his broad chest. “I'd love to stay longer, but I promised Mabel a play by play. I think she's just getting a thumbs up before I crash. Good night, Ford.” 

“Good night, Dajan.” Dajan was tempted to shadow Ford to see where he vanished off to, but she swallowed that urge and went back to the storage room she had used during her last visit. The moonlight through the high window was enough to change by without cutting on the lights so once comfortably in the nightshirt, she flopped onto the rug to text. 

Dajan texted Khrys: Day 1: success. Three to go. 

Dajan opened the message screen for Mabel and found dozens of messages. How’s it going? Is it romantic? Need more suggestions? How was dinner? And on and on. Dajan texted: it went fab. Picnic lunch, walk through the woods, dinner and a movie. Still guarded like you said. But has a surprise for me for tomorrow. Sleep well. 

Dajan finally turned toward the air mattress. To her surprise it was gone, replaced by a twin size convertible bed, made up, with an origami Iris with a pipe cleaner stem on the pillow. 

“This is the son of the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.” Dajan murmured sleepily, placing it on the suitcase and soon drifting off to sleep. 

[itsy increase on the Mabel love Meter].


	4. Saturday:  Dungeons and a little Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday and this time Ford has planned the date with a little help from Dipper.

The morning broke rainy and dark, which led Dajan to sleep in a little later than intended. _Well, so much for another day of cryptid hunting._ Dajan answered the morning flurry of texts from Mabel, showered, changed and headed into the kitchen, where Stan was just finishing a plate of scrambled eggs. 

“Morning, Kid.” 

“Morning,” Dajan waved from the door. “... Sleep well?” 

Stan glanced over the rims of his glasses at Dajan. “Fine. You?” 

“Great. The fold-away is really comfy. Thanks.” Dajan gathered her gumption, reached down and ruffled Stan’s hair, and kissed the top of his head. “I have the feeling it was your doing.”

Stan blushed briefly, then murmured, “Guilty. What gave me away?” 

“You and your brother have different ways of showing you care. You fixed my cousin’s car so it practically runs like magic. And you made the spot where I sleep more comfy. You didn't do it for me so much as for Ford. But I still appreciate it. “

“Well, seein’ as he seems to like having you around, it only makes sense to make sure you're comfortable. Besides, if Mabel has her way we’re gonna end up adopting you one way or another. I don't mind havin’ you around that much either. Soos loves your ideas. Which means the Mystery Shack is gonna keep bringing in the bucks even while I'm not here to watch over it. “

Dajan chuckled at the idea of being adopted into the family. She felt the same way, really, and other than the death threat, was pleased to know they all liked her. “Your brother awake already?” 

“Up with the sun,” Stan’s voice made clear what he thought of choosing to be up that early, “And patrolling all the trouble spots. Doubt he’ll scare up much. The town founders day festival, Summerween and Woodstick have all gone by, and with summer winding down, everyone else is going to settle into the anniversary of Nevermind All That. It'll get quiet. You'll see this one horse town for what it really is.” 

Dajan had managed to locate a box of breakfast cereal so sugary it could only have been left behind by Mabel, and poured on milk as she listened. “Well every tourist town has its season. I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you could winterize the Shack. So is there a story that goes with Nevermind All That?” She was beginning to be able to hear when there might be a story attached to a particular set of words or phrases. _Gravity Falls local parlance,_ she supposed.

Stan raised one bushy brow at Dajan as she leaned against the counter with her bowl. “Ford didn't tell you?” 

“If he did, he didn't call it by that name.”

Stan chuckled. “Leave it to Sixer to use a five dollar word when a ten cent one will do. Lemme guess. He called it Weirdmageddon?” 

Dajan nearly dropped her bowl and choked on her bite of cereal as she flashed back to that conversation with Ford. Stan got up, crossed the kitchen in two quick strides, and pounded Dajan on the back, hard enough to dislodge the offending marshmallow. “Th-thanks. Yeah. He mentioned that. All hell breaking loose. Town overrun with Ob... Only God knows what? It was as bad as he made it out?” 

Stan nodded. “Ford did all he could to protect us here in this house, but that creep Cipher decided to make the whole town his plaything. And all the people in it. It wasn't pretty, Kid. We barely got out alive. Took a little Mystery Shack trickery but we did it and far as I know, Cipher is gone for good.” Something in Stan’s expression was still clouded. “The town collectively decided they didn't wanna think or talk about it again, so anytime anyone local says Nevermind All That, you can safely assume they're thinkin’ about that event. And that they'd prolly rather forget.”

Dajan nodded, eyes going steely as she turned to dump the rest of the cereal and wash the bowl and spoon. “He didn't understand why you brought him back, you know. I told him he was too fixated on the problem to realize you hadn't meant to zap him away… And that you just wanted your brother back.”

Stan narrowed his eyes. “That mind reader bit? Cut it out. It's annoying. Unless I hire you to do it to the rubes for the Shack.”

Dajan dried off the bowl and put it back in the cupboard. “It's not that hard to parse you guys out, Mr. Mystery,” she said quietly. “You’re all tough guy, and that's no act. But you don't get into a fight with family then spend 30 solid years trying to make up for what you did unless you really, truly care. You wanted your brother back and didn’t care about the consequences. That's what I told Ford. Spoiler alert: that had not occurred to him. You two might try talking more now that you're reunited if I'm not meddling too much.”

Stan was still regarding Dajan dubiously when Ford returned, arms laden with plastic bags. “Weather says this storm is likely to be a bad one. We could lose power. I got kerosene for the lanterns, some bottled water, ice, and some non perishables.” Despite the potentially bad news, his smile was bright. “Means we need to make the most of our time. Come with me, Dajan. Time for your surprise.” He took in her jeans and backward cardigan, then swept a hand toward the liviing room.

In the living room, Ford made a show of producing his new phone. As if on cue, it began ringing. The theme tune to Eerie Indiana, if Dajan’s ear and recall were right. Ford answered, face opening into a wide, unguarded smile. “Dipper! It's not too early for you? Mabel juice?” Ford glanced to Dajan, miming relief. Dipper was only kidding. 

“We had planned a conference call for DD&MD but now we can do a video call,” came Dipper’s voice as Ford proudly turned the phone around. Skype! 

“Dipper!” Dajan waved enthusiastically. Dipper waved with his usual semi-suspicious but cheerful expression. He was still worried about Ford. _Sweet kid._

The scientist must have been out early getting the phone set up and figuring out how to do video calls. All for her. She hadn't expected him to leap into the new technology so quickly or eagerly. Dajan’s voice quavered just slightly as she called out her greeting to Dipper. 

Ford made one worried comment about the long distance charges but Dipper assured his Great Uncle that the call was over wifi and not landlines. Ford looked mildly bewildered, but Dajan could see him mentally filing away his curiosity so they could play. 

Since the weather had put a literal damper on any outside activities, they played their game at a leisurely pace. Ford’s non perishable snacks included granola bars, crackers, and canned chicken, so they didn't even need to pause for a food break. The trio of characters had a side quest to save a town Miv --the bad guy-- had done wrong, then had to remain for the thank you feast, and restock their supplies before going onward. Backstory and laughter were shared. Thankfully the power held despite a few alarming blinks, and they were able to complete another leg of the journey to take on Miv, including logic puzzles and trick questions. 

As the afternoon started to slide toward evening, though, Dipper’s stamina wore thin. Dajan thanked him for the game. She had packed the golden dice Ford had given her at their first session in hopes of playing again. “you two sure know how to show a girl a good time!” 

Once Dipper had a moment to bask sheepishly in the praise, they ended the call. “Now for that promised surprise.” 

Dajan looked up with surprised eyes. “Wait, what? The game wasn't it?” 

“Not all of it,” Ford explained, pleased at Dajan’s expression. He reached behind Stan’s chair and pulled out a medium sized parcel wrapped in plain brown paper, and presented it with a flourish. 

Despite her urge to shred the paper like it was December, she reined in her eager response and gingerly opened the package one careful strip of tape at a time. 

Finally after interminable minutes, the paper opened to reveal a drawing in ink of Dajan’s character, Alex the bard. Alex was decked out in the typical high fantasy gear suitable for a bard, but her face was Dajan’s real one. Her hood was down so her curls tumbled past her shoulders in a way they absolutely did not in real life.I wish. The drawing was properly mounted for hanging. For once, the usually chattery Dajan was struck speechless. 

After waiting a minute for a reaction and getting none, Ford ahemed softly and asked, “what do you think?” 

“I think it's amazing!” Dajan sprang from her seat to fling an appreciative hug around Ford’s neck. “I mean wow! I knew you were good from the Mothman pages, but… Whoa! I wish I looked this good!” Dajan gave a couple of self conscious pats at her hair. The humidity had enfluffinated her hair even more than usual. 

“You do,” was Ford’s quiet reply. He stayed still, letting Dajan continue to dangle her arms from his neck as long as she liked. “That's from… Memory.”

Dajan was speechless for the second time in as many minutes. “Memory?” 

“Yes. It was right after we got the boat back in the water. We were doing a test run before heading to Sea again. Dull work really, and quickly done. I…Let my mind wander with my sketchpad in hand, and before I knew it, there you were on the page.”

“The face that launched a single ship,” Dajan joked sheepishly. 

Now Ford reached up and took her hand in his. “more than that, and you should know that already. You shook this old set in his ways bookworm into remembering science… And life… is about wonder, discovery and taking chances. Being open to new experiences.”

He leaned slightly toward Dajan, and before she could return the gesture, a great thunderclap shook the house hard enough to rattle the windows--and the power finally failed. 

Stan could be heard swearing somewhere in the house. Ford burst out laughing and Dajan joined him. 

“Better light some candles.” Dajan got up, and the soft padding of her bare feet were barely audible on the rug. What soon followed was her squeaking, “Yipes, the kitchen floor is like ice!”

“Are you all right?” called an astonished Ford. “How can you even see your way?” 

“Would you believe photographic memory?” Dajan asked, voice muffled as she rummaged through the bags and found both candles and matches. The skitch of the matchbook was quickly followed by the lights of plain white votive candles. She managed to get four lit before needing to strike another match. 

“Considering the level of clutter in this house,” Ford’s expression looked relieved once he could see Dajan again, ”I would consider memorizing the layout a survival strategy.”

Dajan paused to look out the window. “Can't tell from here if the whole town is dark. But at least we get a candlelight dinner?” 

“Do you know… You have a way of making even a power failure seem fun?”

“Becoming adults is required of us. Growing up is optional,” said Dajan in her most pretend-snooty voice. 

“Well said,” Ford offered a clink of their Mason jar water glasses and toasted to new adventures and letting the inner child out to play. 

“So now that Bill is no longer a threat,” Dajan began only to pause when she realized Ford was staring.” W-what is it?”

“Fascinating mutation,” Ford took her chin in one hand and gently tilted her head. “Your eyes. I'd noticed the unusual shade of green already but they almost glow in the candlelight like a cat’s.” 

Dajan shrugged and gave a half smile in return, dropping her gaze to the floor. “Yeah, I get that a lot. Most people think it's weird. A little creepy, even.” It happened under starlight and flashlight too, but Ford had been a little more focused on Mothman, and still uncertain about her even later in their acquaintance. If he'd noticed, he hadn't felt comfortable enough with her to mention it. At least until now. 

“I know from weird,” Ford said, voice going a little gruff. “Your eyes may be weird, Dajan, but anyone finding them creepy has not made the effort to get to know you.” A heartbeat later, he added, “They've missed a chance to know a wonderful person who… Sees more in me than most other people… Even myself. I find myself grateful for their lack of curiosity.“

“Me too.” Dajan pulled her gaze up and found Ford smiling at her again. The candlelight played along his heroic jawline, and he leaned in toward her again. She was just realizing where this might lead when the lights flickered back on, and she turned her attention from a wincing, blinking Ford to hastily blowing out the candles. 

“Whoop, look at my wrist, how late it's gotten. Tempus fugit! Let's tidy up and call it a night. You were up early.“ She let Ford help her to her feet and together they picked up the snack wrappers. 

“Don't worry your pretty head about me. I require a lot less sleep after thirty years traveling the multiverse.” Ford paused, realizing belatedly his anachronistic turn of phrase might have touched a nerve. But to his relief, Dajan seemed to have taken it in the spirit intended. “Speaking of which, didn't you have a question about that?” 

“...Kind of,” Dajan admitted, taking a moment to weigh her words. “I was wondering if you ever considered going back out there now that there's no threat to our world from the demon?”

Ford met her gaze with a somber expression. “At first, during Weirdmageddon I did consider it. What did I have to offer a world I hadn't been a part of for so long? What would the world want with me, knowing my part in the disaster? But how we managed to beat Bill kind of tied me here out of obligation and responsibility. That gave me time to mend fences with my brother.”A sadness briefly crossed Ford’s expression. “I wouldn't have bought the Stan O’ War and we'd never have had an opportunity to rebuild our friendship. To say nothing of accidentally yanking you out of your life and into ours… into mine.”

“I know what I have to lose now, so I won't make foolish mistakes again. And I suppose the trip doesn't have to be one way anymore. Because if I did go through the portal again… I have a lot worth coming back for now.“ With that, Ford wound an arm around Dajan’s waist, pulled her against him and kissed her on the lips. 

It was brief, barely long enough for Dajan to begin returning the kiss, before he pulled back with a faint smile. Dajan’s own smile had gone completely dreamy. All she managed was “Wow.” _I'm sorry, the Dajan you are trying to reach is currently out of range._ She shook off the first kiss euphoria and looked up at him… But not not as far as usual. Alarm sliced through euphoria as Dajan realized her toes were two inches off the floor. _Stan said they'll never find the body!_ She reminded herself until she was standing on tiptoe. “Smooth,” she breathed. “and you were worried about that?” 

“... Past tense,” Ford whispered, forehead against hers. 

“Awesome.” 

Their next embrace lasted longer and this time only Dajan’s right foot left the ground … until the power went out again and, laughing, they relit the candles and reluctantly agreed to call it a night. 

After her nightly report to Mabel (thumbs up emoji), Dajan hovered intermittently in her sleep that night. It was a good thing only Waddles ever came in without knocking. 

[5% increase in the Mabel love meter]


	5. Not Even on Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weather interrupts any dating plans for the day. Stan and Dajan find a little trouble to get into while Ford is working.

The storms blew through in the night, leaving the day breaking sunny and hot. Dajan managed to do the early riser this time, making a dash into town for breakfast supplies. She was in the kitchen working on the French toast when the aroma of French Roast summoned the twins from opposite ends of the house.

“Morning, you guys. Just thought I'd whip up a bite to say thanks for having me over again!”

“You gonna feed me, Kid, I guess I gotta put up with ya.” Stan raised his mug and glanced at his brother. Somewhere Dajan had managed to locate the apron Mabel had put on him during The Cupcake Event. She was wearing it while she danced around the kitchen. In short order, she had stacked plates set before the brothers and began washing the dishes.

“Woods gonna be a muddy, mucky mess, Sixer,” Stan observed. “Looks like the only weird thing you get to show her is the pit.”

“Oh, the pit?” Dajan repeated, settling herself against the counter and pretending not to notice Ford trying to offer his chair. “Levitating cherry pit? City made from a giant peach pit?”

“Bottomless,” Stan added before she could continue guessing. “Like the coffee, huh, kid?” He held up his mug expectantly.

“Nuh uh,” Dajan said from where she perched on the counter. “there's cooking for my friends, and there's ‘not your waitress’.” She wanted to add a playful insult, but despite the professed age of the two, Dajan just couldn't quite bring herself to believe it. Geezer just didn't feel like it applied to them.

“I'm afraid I must leave you to your own devices,” Ford said gravely, dabbing at his face with a napkin. “I have backup power to my lab in the woods, but given our backup here at the Shack didn't kick in… I need to check on it personally.”

“You think I can't keep up with you?” Dajan asked, mock offended.

“Not at all, Dajan. It’s just… It’s the sort of work I don't think even your personality could lighten.”

“Augh,” groaned Stan theatrically. “Two ‘o you are gonna give me cavities.”

“I could always ask Mabel for a recipe if you want something sweet,” Dajan suggested in a sing-song voice. Stan made a noise and got up to refill his coffee. He loved the kid but even he couldn't tolerate Mabel’s level of sugar. Smirking with satisfaction, Dajan asked Ford “you really think it'll take all day?”

Ford considered. “It has the potential to be short and simple, but… if the power is out, the potential for a long day becomes possible. Besides, the woods are a muddy mess. Not prime environment for a date.” His eyes were regretful even if his voice held the weight of responsibility.

“Okay. Text me. I will wait to hear which it is. I can keep myself occupied and out of trouble until you're free.”

“Or I can draft her into helping me fix the Shack’s busted generator,” interrupted Stan with his best salesman smile.

“I can run into town for parts. Gonna let me drive the Stanmobile?”

“Hell, no. Nobody drives my baby but me and Honeypants. Besides, I've seen what happens when you drive, Kid. Let's get moving.”

“Hey! Big magnets don't count!” Dajan protested, racing for her room to find some sturdier shoes. Ford caught her hand and squeezed it briefly. He was rewarded with a sunny smile from Dajan, who blew a kiss at him, then took off down the hall.

Fifteen minutes later found Dajan waving to Ford as he strode purposefully into the woods, wearing another nerdy T-shirt over an old pair of jeans and a much used pair of Wellies. That Cool Coat flapped cinematically behind him until the forest swallowed him.

Dajan texted Mabel their plan for the day and put the phone on silent. She chose a science fiction book from her phone and began reading. She looked up again when she heard Stan make that unpleasant grumble in his throat. “We there yet?” she asked playfully.

“No, but I don't like the look of it, kid.” Stan jabbed a finger to point down Main Street. “It's quiet.”

Given how serious Stan seemed to be taking the lack of activity, Dajan shoved aside the urge to respond with a crack. Until she saw the plume of black smoke rising from Greasy’s. “You have a fire department, right?”

Stanley’s pause before answering was met with “Really?! Not even volunteers?” she had the door open and was scrambling out of the car before Stan had fully stopped. “Call 911!” Just like that she was off down the block, pausing only to remove her T-shirt and soak it in a rain barrel. Thankfully she was wearing a tank top beneath.

_Yeah, I can just see Sixer steaming out of the ears cuz I saw his chick in her underwear before him. Stanley thought, half-amused._

Holding the wet shirt to her face and wrapping her hand in the bottom, she pushed the door open.

Stan stared in shock for a second, then thumbed 911 on his phone. Neither Durland nor Blubs picked up. Stan muttered to himself. They could be chasing something petty or off somewhere being cute at each other. Anything was possible with that pair. Stan took off his leather jacket and followed her example with his own tank shirt.

The diner was going to have some smoke damage but it wasn't the conflagration Stan had feared. The diner was empty and Dajan herself was nowhere to be found. “Kid?” He bellowed. “Dajan?!”

“Kitchen!” she called, and Stan barreled through the doors. Dajan had propped the back door open with an industrial size can of Scrapple, and was in the process of carrying Lazy Susan -- who had to outweigh her by at least 100 pounds -- out over her shoulder. It looked as if the few customers: Tad Strange, Manly Dan and that pair of old women who constantly ate at the counter, had all been dragged into the room from the restaurant so Dajan could throw wet rags over their faces. They were all unconscious. The source of the smoke was the grill. Dajan had covered with pots what she could and extinguished the rest.

Stan, not to be outdone by some spindly little waif of a girl, picked up both old women and carried them to the fresh air outside. Dajan gave him a thin smile, half worry, half gratitude, and went back for Tad, leaving great muscular Dan for Stan.

Outside, six people lay lined up on the muddy grass. The last victim was the other waitress, a sixteen year old. They all appeared to be simply asleep, smiling slightly as if in the middle of a good dream.

Stan knelt and lifted the teen’s eyelid. He recoiled back, swearing under his breath.

Dajan didn't need to ask what Stan saw. She had copied him on one of the old women. Her eyes were bloodlessly gone, just leaving empty fleshy sockets, pink and glistening with mucus.

Stan was pleasantly surprised that Dajan didn't turn into a horror movie stereotype and start screaming. But that did little to help against his rapidly darkening mood. He pulled out his cellphone, waited a moment, then spoke. “Sixer. We got a problem. Come when you get this. We'll be somewhere in town.”

“Honestly, kid, I'd rather turn around and go back to the Shack. Or at least send you. But I gotta make sure the townies are okay, and no way am I letting you out of my sight until I know what's going on.“

“Im OK with that,” Dajan quavered, managing another thin smile. “You really look out for the townies.”

“You would too if you were here for… The weirdness. Most of this town went through hell, and I ain't sure all of them made it out the other side in one piece.” Stan tapped the side of his head with a significant look in his eyes.

Dajan was covered in soot, so went back into the diner long enough to turn her T-shirt into a washrag, and retrieved a logo bowling shirt from the display case. It was two sizes too big, and it smelled like fry grease, but it was dry. Stan took one look at the shirt barely hanging off her shoulders before guffawing at the sight. “Thanks, kid. I needed that.”

“Glad to oblige.” Dajan looked down at the sleeping townies. “I'll stand guard? Maybe in the gym? While you see if anybody besides us is awake?”

“Good an idea as any,” Stan shrugged. The catering van for Greasy’s was parked in back, only a few feet from the back door. He hot wired the engine to life. It was quicker work with two to get the sleepers into the van. Stan also picked the locks on the gymnasium doors once they arrived at the high school. “Town’s not that big, kid. I won't be gone long. Ford will be on his way the second he gets my message.”

 _If he's got bars. If he thinks to check his phone,_ was the thought Dajan left unspoken. She raised a hand in a listless wave as Stan began his potentially gruesome circuit around town. She pulled out her own cell phone and texted Dipper to ask where the other lab was, then called Ford herself. Dismayed at getting voicemail, she left a brief message. “You wanna catch a few of those eye bats on your way into town.”

Dipper replied first and his response made Dajan’s blood run cold.

The forest lab?! Great Danger if power is out!!!1!  
Killer monster! HATES THE AUTHOR!  
Shapeshifter! Can NOT escape!!

Great. Expect he knows. Said it couldn't wait.  
Everyone in Gravity Falls is asleep except us from the Shack. Some people missing their (eye emoji) (eye emoji)

Ew. Sorry. Will research.  
Grunkle Stan?

Taking vics to gym. I'm watching them.

Safe for now.

Stay safe.

 

That's the plan, Dipper. Dajan out.

Stan had already returned once and was laying out the sleepers according to who still had their eyes. Or not. The numbers were thankfully small by comparison. Some of the tension lines were starting to smooth out of Stan’s face as he realized whatever was stealing eyes was having a hard time finding eyes that met with its preferences. By an hour later, most of the town was snuggled up cozily. No more than 20 people had lost their eyes. Dajan sat curled on the lowest bleachers, working to keep her composure. _To the guys this is way less than the end of the world. They'll be fine._

The doors burst open. Ford strode in, a squeaking, wriggling bag on one shoulder. “Stanley! Dajan!” He glanced between them, visibly torn. To make matters worse, Dajan and Stan each tried to help by pointing to the other simultaneously and saying “That’s your brother! /That's your girl, Poindexter!”

Ford, being Ford, simply stepped between them, forcing a group hug. Instead of tension breaking laughter there was a mutual sigh of relief that they were all together again.

“I know what did this,” Dajan said once the moment was over. “When I was very small, before my family found me, there was a mean woman who worked nights in the orphanage. Told us to shut up and go to sleep or she'd tell the moon Sandman to take our eyes. We ended up sleeping with buttons and bottlecaps on our eyes to trick him. Except me. I slept under my bed. And got to see him one night. If we offer him trinkets that are better than his, he'll trade them back.”

“You brilliant, wonderful girl,” breathed Ford with the same affectionate look he'd given the first time he had complimented her brains.

Dajan didn't brighten. “what about the wood lab? Everything okay there?”

“Just barely, but yes. Nothing motivates fast and efficient work like knowing a sentient being that hates you is thawing from cryosleep.” Ford paled at Dajan’s expression. But he did not shy away from her gaze. “you already know the folly of my misspent youth. This was just one more mistake. I experimented on the creature, not realizing until much later that it was intelligent. But by then the damage was done.”

“Great. Water under the friggin’ bridge as long as it's in deep freeze again”, was Stan’s statement on the subject. “whadda we do about this? Soos and Wendy are still asleep!”

 

“It will come back for us this evening most likely,” Ford had a hand on his chin and was mostly thinking out loud. “The dome probably kept him in, similar to the way it kept Cipher in. And it will come looking for more eyes it missed. Likely Dajan’s.” There was apology practically written all over Ford’s face as he realized what he'd said.

Dajan merely gazed back calmly. “Okay.”

 

“She's OK with this? You're OK with this?” Sputtered Stan.

Dajan wavered a hand. “Not that I'm tickled pink about it, but my eyes are the youngest and most unusual left. They glow.”

 

“Wouldn't ya know it'd take a weird girl to fit in with this weird family.” Stan wheezed with wry laughter. “Lucky you, she's not a man eating spider!”

“Or a lizard person,” added Ford with a wink to Dajan.

“She's strong like ox, though,” Stan said faux-conspiratorily. “Never wrestle for the last slice of pizza.”

“It's a hard knock life,” Dajan shrugged. “I was a tiny skinny weird black kid with weird hair before my family found me. You gotta be tough or the bigger kids pick on you!”

“Now I'm a tall and skinny weird black adult with weird hair, and I only get picked on once in a while,” quipped Dajan, yawning showily and curling up in her too big bowling shirt on her hard, flat bleacher.

The sun was going down, and once the twins quieted down, they didn't have long to wait. First the wind picked up. Then there was a sussurant hiss of fine particles against the doors. A thin trickle of sand came in under the door crack, and began weaving in random patterns before solidifying into a slim figure no taller than Mayor Cutebiker. It glided, arms outstretched with too many joints toward Dajan.

<I>He's a shrimp. We could take him. </I>Stanley bristled and shifted until catching his brother frantically making the “cut it” gesture. Looking sulky, Stanley remained where he was. Ford breathed a sigh of relief and slowly sat up with his bag of eye bats.

“Moon Sandman, we offer you a deal.” The sand figure, more sand sculpture than humanoid, gave a polite gesture to indicate willingness to listen. “Wake the town, give back the stolen eyes, and swear to never return… and you can have these eyebats.”

The creature nodded and, as feared, pointed with seven-jointed fingers at Dajan. The meaning was plain: if the eye bats were not good enough, he'd want her eyes in compensation. Dajan nodded. Ford swallowed hard. Out from the bag came one eyebat, a show of good will. The whoosh of wind and sand became a scirocco, whipping the squeaking creature from Ford’s hand. Two seconds later, the miniature sandstorm flickered red and beige. Two seconds after that, several of the sleepers moaned and sighed in their sleep. Sand swirled around their heads, and the ghastly emptiness of their eyelids went away. Ford nodded and opened the bag. The sandy figure loomed like a wave around the bats. There was no bloody miasma this time. The eye bats were simply there one instant and gone the next. The sand figure bowed to Dajan, tipped an imaginary hat to the Stans, and stepped into a beam of moonlight. It was drawn up as if via a tractor beam, and then gone.

Dajan shuddered. “Dibs on the shower! Can we go back to the Shack now?”

 

“We never got the stuff to fix the generator,” Stan pointed out as the citizens of Gravity Falls got up and milled about in bewildered, tired confusion.

“I’ll show you how to Google solar batteries!” if Stan wasn't driving, she was clearly prepared to walk.

Ford gave his brother a sheepish expression, then quickened his pace to walk beside Dajan. His arm went around her shoulders, and hers reflexively settled around his waist. “When we met, I asked you if you believed in the supernatural. When you said yes, I thought you were only humoring me.”

“Silly man,” Dajan grinned up at Ford. “I've seen my share of weirdness long before ever coming here. Besides, dishonesty is a terrible way to start a friendship, don't you think?”

“True,” Ford agreed, glancing at Dajan sidelong. “But are you certain our weirdness isn't more than you bargained for?”

“What do you mean I bargained for? Your magnet gun, Mr. Pines!” Dajan did her best innocent face and Ford, chuckling, had to admit he did have her at the disadvantage at that moment. “But you, sly boots, spun it into an opportunity!”

“My intentions were honorable, Dajan, I--”

“I know. Things just worked out really well, and I'm glad they did.” A pair of glowing yellow eyes watched them from the trees as they walked arm in arm toward the Shack. “At least I got to hear a little more about you,” Ford replied gently. “I'm just no good at that,” Dajan insisted. “That's why I manage a bookstore! I get paid to read and be a good listener! Besides, orphan story? I make myself bored just thinking too hard about it!”

Ford sighed in fake defeat. “if you want to remain a mystery, I will have to be patient.”

“Oh no fair giving me the eyes!” Dajan made playful warding off gestures. “Off sides! Bad form! Flag on the play!”

“Would questions help?” “Yes!” chirped Dajan. “What do the unfamiliar constellations look like? Do you miss traveling? What monsters have you caught on the boat? Are there pictures? Any cuter than the plaidypus?”

“You know that's not what I meant!” Ford laughed at her turning his suggestion on him as they made it back to the Shack. “If I asked you questions, would you answer them.” Dajan quieted, becoming serious. “All right, Ford. You get twenty and I'm allowed… Three duck outs if I find any too difficult.”

“Fair,” Ford allowed, opening the door. “So… How much of a kid are you?” “Birthday is in February, and my lifespan covers the time you were away on… Shall we say sabbatical? Relax. You're a silver fox, not a dirty old man.”

“Are we going to have to prepare for any awkward dinners with your family?” “Nah. My family loves everyone. Maybe Aunt Audrey will tell you you're too thin and need to eat."

"Stan will have to watch himself around Khrys, though. She's a Maneater…” Dajan hastily added “in the romantic sense, not the culinary!” The conversation went on long enough for the day to catch up with them.

Even after giving them a head start getting home, Stanley shook his head to discover Dajan and Ford had simply dozed off sitting together. “Okay, okay, you're a cute couple. Never saying it while you're awake to hear it,” Stan whispered, pulling Mabel’s favorite pink blanket out of the closet and draping it over them. Mabel never got a text that night… But Dajan did. Dipper had painstakingly mapped out the bunker like it was a DD&MD adventure…

[teeny tiny increase on the love meter]

 


	6. Parade and Peril

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dajan tries a stunt to encourage Ford she's serious about him. It doesn't work out as expected. But neither does anything else.

The note left on the coffeemaker said: “Can't wait to see how Gravity Falls does it up for Labor day! See you both there!” The periwinkle paper and the purple letter ‘D’ with the heart made it obvious who the note was from. As if The Stans, Soos or Wendy would ever leave a relentlessly bright note. “Mabel is rubbing off on her, I guess,” Stan grumbled, tossing the note. 

“She seems to want both of us there,” mused Ford, catching, uncrumpling, and peering at the note.

“Good to want things,” Stanley said from the kitchen. “She's not my girlfriend, but have fun!” 

“Dudes!” From outside, Soos was honking vigorously in his truck. “come on!” 

“Never gonna hear the end of this if I don't, “ Stanley groaned and got to his feet. Mabel was up early and had gotten into the act by texting repeated requests for photos of the floats. 

“A group effort,” said Ford mildly, pouring himself a commuter cup of coffee that Stan had scammed out of Bud Gleeful five years earlier. “Let's not keep them waiting.” 

By the time Soos and Stan (who insisted on driving the Stanmobile) arrived, the crowds were four deep, but Wendy was lying in a contortionist-worthy sprawl across a bench and three camp chairs. “You made it!” 

“Dajan got you all involved in this?” Stan was incredulous. Ford was speechless. 

“Dajan?” Wendy straightened and cracked her back, straightening the Pine tree hat she'd traded with Dipper the previous summer. “I heard something about a tourist crashing into the shack but I was away at lumberjack camp. Finally some excitement, and figures I miss it.” Wendy sauntered off with a flip of her red hair. 

“Someone call my name?” Dajan popped out of the crowd to pounce the brothers and embrace each with an arm. Ford got an additional kiss on the cheek, changing his startled expression to a delighted and surprised one. “Nice turnout! Looks like fun… Except Stan’s determined to be grumpy. I've been to this town twice and I still haven't seen the pterodactyl, so what have you to be so cranky about?”

“Don't answer that. I think I saw a churro stand… Be right back!” Ford received a kiss on the opposite cheek, then Dajan disappeared into the thickening crowd. 

“That kid is random,” Stan chuckled. “who knew my uptight, straight laced bro would fall for a -- “

“I am well aware of the manic pixie dream girl trope, Stanley,” Ford cut his brother off, mildly irked at the idea. “She's just as much a brainiac as you like to call me. She's empathic, and really shy when it comes to talking about herself. She’s curious and brave. I think it's just Gravity Falls amplifying the natural elements of--”

Before Ford could work up a good head of steam in lecture mode, the parade reached them. Toby and Shandra stood at opposite ends of the news float. 

There was a float of Gideon and his skater friends, done up all in blue tissue paper. That came next, and looked like Gideon had commandeered his father’s dealership float. But it was the float after that, made strangely enough out of wood and uncooked pasta, that stopped both twins in their tracks, jaws dropped. 

The float was amateurish but obviously several other townsfolk had to have contributed to it. A glitter ribbon read “thanks for keeping us safe!” at its feet. And ten feet over that, representations of the Pines Brothers. A pulley thing had each one waving a hand to the crowd. They hadn't got Ford’s hands right. A matching ribbon at the bottom read “Hardest Workers in Town.” 

The Stans exchanged flabbergasted expressions as anyone passing them clapped them on their shoulders. Despite the town not wanting to consider or recall the events of Weirdmageddon, they did want to remember who had saved the day. It was humbling. It was astonishing. It was strange. For once, neither brother had anything to say. 

Lastly, on Mayor Cutebiker’s Never Mind All That float, sitting atop the word NEVER, was Dajan in a violet strapless minidress and matching heels. “Hello, Gravity Falls! This one goes out to a dear friend who thinks I need to open up more. Sing along if you know the words!”

The song was a perky, infectiously danceable techno-synth number from the 80s, but such an obscure one that only an 80s enthusiast would know its title: [The Mirror Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn98GJ0RECk). Dajan sang in an alto, though some of the notes seemed to have an inexplicable soprano backup. The enthusiasm in her voice made it clear this tune was a familiar favorite of hers. 

__Memories of things  
That never happened  
These are always  
The hardest to forget  
All the old friends  
And the loved ones   
These are the people   
You haven't even met  


Some people looked bemused at the nonsensical lyrics, but most just danced on the sidewalk, alone or in pairs or groups. 

_Looking forward into the old days_  
Looking back at what there will be   
There's no reality, it's just an illusion   
There's no real sanity, just plain confusion 

The Mayor himself danced energetically across the words “All That” as Dajan sang. “Get it, girl!” 

__How do you feel?  
Well I don't know just how I feel  
All I know is that I love you   
It's so real, so real, surreal  
Here we go!   


>On the bench, Ford gazed in abject amazement at the grand gesture. Beside him, a blond dude asked, “Who’s the sizzling dish of wow singing her heart out?” 

Ford turned, ready to snap at the speaker. A heavy set stranger in his mid twenties stood looking up at Dajan with unabashed amazement, and not an ounce of the tactless lust Ford expected from guys that age. “That's the real deal, man. Just saying. Hope whoever she's belting it out for knows and returns that sentiment.” 

_How do you feel?_  
Well I don't know just how I feel   
All I know is that I love you   
It's so real, so real, surreal

“What--?”

“‘S a love song, man. I don't usually get pulled to someone singing a love song unless their heart is totally in it, and her heart is totally in it! Trust me, I'm an exp--”

The second verse was even more nonsensical but it came back around to the same delightful chorus about love. Dajan was too high up to have any idea where in the crowd her would be boyfriend was, but the song wasn't very long… And the moment it ended, the heels were in her hands as she scrambled down the float. She paused long enough to thank the mayor once more, then dropped barefoot to the pavement. 

Before Ford could ask the stranger how he could be so certain, a tap came at his shoulder. Fiddleford, smiling faintly and beckoning urgently. Ford nodded, and stood. “All right, Fiddleford. But only if it’s quick. I have a prior commitment. Come to think of it, Dajan did want to meet you...” 

He murmured apologies to the stranger, ducked the cameras and phones snapping around him, and followed his old friend into the crowd to get out of the center of attention. 

Then the parade was over. That was it. Four floats. 

Stanley strode, puffed up on fandom as only Gravity Falls could do it. He grinned his way back up the street, high fiving anyone he passed. He hadn't enjoyed this sort of positive feedback since his ill-fated campaign for Mayor. 

He got back to the bench, expecting to find Dajan and Ford being revoltingly cute again, but it was only Toby, PDAing with some blond hippie. 

Stanley raised one eyebrow thoughtfully. Ford, you old dog! But any further musing was forestalled by the face of a stricken-looking Dajan who had stopped going against the crowd and just gazed in disbelief when it became apparent that Ford wasn't waiting there for her. 

“Why did I do that? What was I thinking?” Dajan smacked herself in the forehead with the heel of her hand, having obviously assumed the worst. 

Stan frowned to himself before reaching over and gently patting Dajan on a bare shoulder. “C’mon, kid, don't do that. Poindexter is around here somewhere, I guarantee. Man’d have to be blind and stupid to have missed that message. And ain't fitting to say in front of a lady what he'd have to be to walk out on that performance. Trust me, Daj, Stanford Pines may be many things, but stupid is not one of them.” Occasionally naive, frequently paranoid. But not stupid."

Dajan remained crestfallen and silent as Stan asked after his brother. Finally Soos spoke up and said, “He and ol’ man McGuckett took off a few minutes ago.”. Someone volunteered that he'd seen them talking over by the founder statue.

Immediately Stan turned on his heel. The statue was in the center of town, opposite the last place Stan had seen Fiddleford: working with his son to fix the damage to Greasy’s and halfway sticking out of an air duct. There was no earthly way McGuckett could have made it to the parade in such a short time with the streets this crowded. “My brother is in trouble. Let's go, kid.” His fist closed on her elbow hard enough to jar her out of her self pity. 

“... What? How--”

“Damn Weirdness nexus town,” muttered Stan, using his linebacker shoulders and not bothering with politeness as he muscled his way through the milling throng of people. 

Dajan’s heels clattered forgotten to the sidewalk as she hurried to catch up with Stan’s longer, purposeful strides. “OK Google, conference call the twins.” 

Stan spared Dajan a glance, as the twins answered. “Dajan!” Even Mabel’s cheerful lilt wasn't enough to pierce her mood. “What's up?” 

“... Your brainiac Grunkle is in trouble, a lookalike for his wrench man is with him. You're too far away for giant robot mode. What is it and what do we do?” Dajan’s words came out in a breathless tumble. 

Dipper answered first, with a shaking voice. “The shapeshifter. It got loose?! Great Uncle Ford couldn't…wouldn't have made a mistake like that…not until you showed up.” Those last few words held all the contempt a fourteen-year-old could muster. For a few seconds the only sound was Mabel’s horrified gasp. 

Dajan let the phone drop from her fingers, but Stan caught it before it could hit. His eyes went flinty and it took him a visible second before he spoke to his nephew in slow, clipped words. 

“Mason Pines. You take that back.” Stan’s voice was a low snarl. “Ford’s not perfect and you know that as well as any of us. You've seen the worst mistake he's ever made, and you nearly followed in his footsteps. This is no time for your hero worship. So either give us something that'll help or hang up.” 

“I was afraid something like this would happen when… She… Texted about the power failure. Should be a map of the bunker on her phone. I sent it last night.” Dipper's voice was still petulant, and a little cowed. “... Great uncle Stanley.” 

“Daj. Kid. Snap out of it.” Despite his display of temper, Stan spoke gently to her. “I dunno how your phone works.” 

Dajan, instead of answering, dashed away on bare feet to the forest’s edge. There were signs of a scuffle. She looked at Stan with desolate green eyes that glowed from the shadows. “Something dragged him into the woods.” 

Stan grunted in understanding. He told the phone, “You kids hang up. We’ll call when this is finished.” He thumbed the end call button and scrolled through Dajan’s messages until he found the map and some notes Dipper had taken. He jammed the phone into the pocket of his leather jacket and came out with his brass knuckles on his fists. “Let’s go get Ford back, kid.” 

Dajan watched him walk past her in complete astonishment. “Kid, for this family,” Stan explained with a grim smile, “I've fought zombies, time, and the multiverse itself… to say nothing of Bill fucking Cipher. Whatever this is -- we can take it. You with me?” 

“I'm with you.” 

“Attagirl.” 

A little of the hope came back into her eyes as they strode into the forest, Dajan navigating by the light of her phone. Ford, for his part, had made a point to struggle hard against his captor, literally dragging his heels in the forest floor and making a trail it wouldn't take an expert tracker to follow. 

They followed Dipper's map to the tree lever opening the way in. With no easy way to climb the tree, Stan boosted Dajan to stand on his shoulders until she could grab the branch and pull it down. 

Moments later, they stood back to back, elbows locked, and set up a punch-kick pattern to hit the panels that stopped the walls closing in. “How the hell are you such a skinny thing but hit like you bench 250?” Stan demanded wheezily as Dajan tugged his arms to help him get his shoulders through the remaining crawl space. 

“You know, that's a weird story,”. Dajan said in a stage whisper. “But you have my word. We get out of this, I'll tell you the whole story.” 

“Deal, kid. And after I beat the hide off Sixer for putting the both of us through this.” 

“Maybe hold off on the violence for my sake?” 

“Oy. Fine.” 

Stanley put a protective arm out in front of Dajan in the dark. She had half a second to smile at how similar the twins were before she realized why Stan had stopped her. The floor had gotten muddy. Some of the wetness on the concrete was mud. But there was also a trail of blood leading deeper into the cave. 

A glint of something off Dajan’s phone light revealed it was Ford’s glasses. The phone’s battery gave out, plunging them into near pitch dark just as she reached them and picked them up. 

Reminded of how serious the situation was, they fell silent. Dajan took the lead only because she could see better in the low light. 

Voices down the tunnel caused the pair to stop, holding their breaths. 

“...Done with you, I'm going to find them all. Bring them back here. And slowly repeat your experiments on them, one by one, while you watch. You'll beg me to end it. And I will. Once I've sent them all before you…” 

Ford’s voice was a broken rasp, so soft that Dajan couldn't make out his words. By Stan’s face, he couldn't either, and was beyond caring. 

“Let him go, you--” Stan couldn't finish the sentence. 

As it was back in what it considered its lair, the shapeshifter had shed its disguise. What loomed up over a barely conscious Stanford who lay bloodied on an exam table, was a monstrosity. Large, egg shaped yellow eyes hovered in a milky white translucent face with ichorous fangs. Visible bones formed a ribcage with too many ribs. Wiggling tentacles ending in crustacean claws paused as the creature turned its attention on Stan. 

“I'll buy you some time. Get him outta here. Come back with a flamethrower!” 

“We’re in this together,” Dajan said quietly, even as the creature turned toward her. On the table, Ford was struggling to remain conscious. His unblackened eye widened briefly in recognition. His lips were too swollen for his words to be recognizable. His chest was covered in bloody slashes and crisscrossing burn marks. The awful smell of burned flesh hung heavy in the air. 

Dajan bit her lower lip and worked as quickly as she could to free his wrists and ankles from the straps. She could hear Stan and the creature both grunting as blows landed. The creature was trying to shapeshift out of the way, but Stan's boxer history held him in good stead. He was still able to dance out of the way of the creature’s unwieldy arms, then dart in close to land face shots and body blows with his considerable weight behind them. 

“C’mon, Ford,” Dajan whispered. She took most of his weight as he tried to hobble toward the way they'd come in. But Stan’s grunts were starting to sound less enraged and more like the creature was managing to get some good hits in. 

Stan was breathing hard, despite the excellent job he was doing denying his age. One claw scored his face, bringing fresh blood along Stan’s cheek. Stan didn't so much as wince or make a sound. 

Dajan caught her breath as the creature saw an opening and took it, extending its arms rapidly to slam Stan hard into the cave ceiling and letting him fall to the dirt covered concrete. A protruding root pierced Stan’s right bicep. He choked back the scream of pain, and struggled to his feet, staggering toward Dajan. “Stan!” 

“I'm… I'm all right. Keep going. “ 

The creature was either savoring its victory or Stan had done it some harm. It crouched, hissing threateningly while darting its eyes rapidly between the threats that were Stan and Dajan. 

Dajan, with Ford still dangling from her shoulder, tore the hem of the already short dress and used it to tie off Stan’s injured arm. “Get Ford. Go. Time for drastic measures.” 

“We’re all leaving,” swore Stan through clenched teeth, “or none of us are”. 

“My sentiment exactly,” agreed Dajan and the shapeshifter together, the latter revealing rows of sharp teeth in a gruesome approximation of a smile. 

Stanley blinked as he suddenly found his arms full of a semi conscious Ford. “Kid, what're you doing?” 

Dajan walked forward, her form shimmering like a cartoon flashback. By the time she'd reached the bunker monster, a two foot tall kangaroo stood in her place. Balancing on her tail, the back feet of the animal tore at the creature which was too surprised to try fending her off. 

Foul smelling ichor flew in all directions but the beast simply shapeshifted itself whole again. It was ready for the second attempt, and it was only the form she'd taken that allowed her to hop out of harm’s way. 

She was already shimmering again as she built up speed along the wall for another attack. This time she was a troll who was Dajan’s approximate size but far more muscular. The dress stretched and ripped. She came down with both hands locked together to hammer fist the thing in its neck. 

There was a sickening wet snap! 

But the bunker beast only chortled wetly and turned to face her with its head dangling at an even more unnatural angle. 

Dajan was beginning to flag. Her vision was blurring and although she'd avoided any hard hits, she was gasping like a heatstroke victim. Her skin was looking piebald and patchy. “Only… One way… To end this…” she resumed her normal form and jogged up the tunnel leading opposite the exit. “ Guys… run. Please.” 

Rather than go for the brothers, the shape shifter gave chase. Before the creature caught up to her, Ford saw Dajan shimmering again. Then they were both out of sight. 

“You heard her,” Stan levered himself to his feet, pulling Ford along with him. Ford obviously wanted to protest, but he couldn't maintain consciousness. 

There was the sound of malevolent laughter followed by a confused grunt. “I have you… What reason have you to smile?” 

“D-Dajan… What is…” rasped Ford. 

“Dunno. But whatever it is, she'll come back to you, bro. If she can. C’mon, Kid. Don't let this town take ya.” 

A sudden silence descended on the cave as if something had sucked all possible sound out of the world. It was replaced by a thin wail that built in volume and intensity. The sound that had left the world came back with the wail, turning into some disharmonious nightmare of shrieks and moans, as if the sounds were intertwining and forming an aural drill bit aimed at the fabric of the mind. The shapeshifter’s own voice, whimpering and pleading, was soon lost in the weaponized cacophony. 

Stan clamped one hand over his ear, and pulled his brother against his chest, covering Ford’s other ear with his other hand. He gritted his teeth against the assaulting noise and worked to scoot them toward the exit with just his legs. 

Ford had just enough consciousness left to activate the conveyor to pull them to the surface. They had barely made it out when the fake tree fell into the bunker, pulling dirt and rocks with it and leaving a sinkhole. 

“Sweet Moses,” Stan breathed as the noise that was the opposite of music wound down and finally fell silent. A few minutes of plain, ordinary silence lingered before smoke began issuing from beneath the dirt. “The hell did the kid do?” 

A soot and mud colored hand emerged from the far edge of the sinkhole. “Little help?” 

The brothers, exhausted and with ears still ringing, exchanged a glance. “OK, Kid, gimme a minute.” 

“Stanley!” Ford protested weakly. It turned out to be attached to what looked like a Dajan who'd been through a fire tornado. She had managed to find Ford’s cool coat and was shivering with it wrapped around her. Her eyes were completely green now, across both sclerae. Her ears seemed larger and pointier. Ford lacked the strength for words and could only semaphore his distress to his brother as Stan carefully made his way around the sinkhole, gingerly testing each step. 

“Easy there, Sixer,” Stan said. “We got a hundred and one ways to be sure it's really her. Kid, put Poindexter’s mind at ease, tell us something only we’d know.” 

“‘Kay,” said Dajan weakly, “glitter cupcakes and chicken…” Then her eyes rolled up into her head and she fainted dead away. 

“Oy,” repeated Stan, rubbing his battered knuckles and reaching for his own phone. Now that she was unconscious, amazingly she seemed to weigh nothing at all. It was more work to text, but talking made his head feel like the words were bouncing around inside his skull. First the twins, then Soos… 

All three adults were slumped together in an unconscious pile by the time Soos had rounded up Wendy and and come to pick them up. [Mabel love meter technical difficulties screen: please stand by].


	7. Mushroom Rings and Reality Warping Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Labor Day weekend and things go from bad to worse in more ways than one.

Monday evening saw Soos and Wendy working frantically to clean and bandage the damage on Stan and Ford. Wendy had taken EMT courses after the Weirdmageddon events and diagnosed Ford worst off with cracked ribs, a fractured cheekbone, bruised coccyx, and a fractured fibia plus significant blood loss and a few second and third degree burns. 

Stanley was suffering from fatigue, a minor concussion, the pierced arm and a few burns where the creature’s ichor had splashed. He examined the facial injury and decided if it left a scar it'd make him look rugged. Once those were addressed, Stan was in no immediate danger, according to Wendy’s limited knowledge. 

What could not be conventionally bandaged was bought from a medical supply store and driven in from Portland by Melody, who was only too happy to help out, since Soos hovered on the verge of an anxiety attack at seeing his father figure and Ford in such a state. 

Dajan, on the other hand, seemed to be only rumpled and suffering minor burns but could not be wakened except for the time she'd asked someone to call her cousin Khrys. She seemed to be aging and dehydrating the longer she rested. Her eyes remained solid green but the poof of her hair was gone, leaving it lying limply on her pillow.

When Wendy made the call on Tuesday afternoon, Khrys’ reaction was explosive. The screaming stream of swearing literally blew Wendy's hair back like on a cartoon. “I'll be there at midnight.” The phone she'd borrowed from Stan looked like it was beginning to melt. Her fingers left indentations in the plastic. 

Soos, his Abuelita and Wendy took shifts in the Mystery Shack, and checking on the wounded trio. Abuelita also sent Soos out for sea salt and had him encircle the sinkhole with salt, then toss the rest into the clearly unhallowed ground. 

True to her word there came three times three knocks at the door at precisely midnight. Wendy opened it and had to turn away. Khrys had arrived and brought a million watts of light with her. “Where’s my baby cousin?” Khrys demanded in a quiet lilting voice that still somehow managed to rattle the windows. Molly and Soos, after whatever lightshow had accompanied her arrival, were still stunned by the sight of her. She had a pair of glossy golden ram horns protruding from above her temples, and a shining wave of black hair that fell to her shins and swayed like there was a breeze, even indoors. Her ears were pointed like Dajan’s and they shared the same completely green eyes and glowing brown skin. Tears were in her eyes and they shined like opals. “I swear. First the magnet gun--” 

Wendy wordlessly took Khrys’ hand, and led her to the guest room. Khrys’ breath caught in her throat at the sight of Dajan. She rushed to the other woman’s side and immediately lifted Dajan’s limp form as though she weighed nothing. “where is the nearest mushroom circle? Tell me!” 

“Mabel would know that,” Soos suggested. “Probably past her bedtime but I think there's a map in the attic--” Khrys swooshed up to the attic and back down in an eyeblink, then was gone into the night, leaving the door hanging open. The group just gaped at each other. 

“You look after the Stans, Soos.” Wendy raced out the door following the faint glow the horned woman gave off as she glided deeper into the woods.

Wendy was able to keep up easily although she had the sense that Khrys was permitting that. She found a sizeable ring of mushrooms and laid her cousin on the ground… give or take four inches. 

“Shmebulock. Guard well.” Khrys called. “The pointy gnome hat, followed by the gnome it was attached to, sprouted out of the ground and took up marching a perimeter outside the mushroom ring. 

“All right, Wendy,” Khrys sat down in front of three logs which became a tea service. “Tell me why I shouldn't turn every mortal in that house into poison oak patches.” 

Wendy gulped. “Friends and family. Those two guys saved this town. And me. My family. All of us. They're not just two old guys. They're our old guys. ”

Khrys must have calmed because her hair had fallen still and the horns had vanished. So now she looked like Dajan’s incomparably beautiful cousin instead of Dajan’s incomparably gorgeous and terrifying inhuman cousin. Wendy found herself breathing easier. “They've done a lot for us, and it's their turn to need looking out for.”

Khrys scrunched up her nose as a bird landed on the edge of the teacup. “Dajan seems to like it here. All right, no wrath. At least not until I find out how she overused herself this way. Dandelion brain could've killed herself!”

“How long will she need to lie in the mushroom circle? The uncs will want to know where she is when they wake up. One's kind of an item with her or something, I think.” All this time working on staying chilled out. And here I'm conducting a debriefing conference with some kind of Tolkienesque Elf Diva. 

“I know. Dajan is quite smitten and very protective of this Ford person. It’s sweet. If she hadn't gone and…” Khrys forced herself to take a breath. 

“This is an emergency measure. She'll wake by dawn but it will be days before she is capable of looking human again. As it is, she's too depleted to travel, Wendy who is not darling. I will brook no further harm coming to her. Can you promise me that?”

“I can pinky swear to do my best to make sure she stays put and the wards around the house are still up and running. And to get between any threat I see and your cousin while she's in Gravity Falls.” Wendy had not touched her tea or crumpets, but she slammed an elbow down as if ready to wrestle, and extended her pinky with a serious expression. 

Khrys regarded Wendy with a faint smile. “I impose no conditions. This promise is not one easily kept but I trust your earnest heart.” She hooked pinky fingers with Wendy and rose. “I am not always in range when my dolt of a cousin gets into trouble but you are welcome to call upon me again.” 

“Good night.” suddenly a woman sized pile of sparkles remained where Khrys had stood. They lingered in the air and led Wendy back to the Shack. 

Only Shmebulock remained, diligently guarding the now-peacefully resting Dajan until the sun rose. 

[Mabel love meter: no data???? ] 

Thursday, Ford finally awakened, from a dead sleep, ready to shout for his brother, until he was awake enough to recognize he was no longer in any danger. As if on cue, Stanley awakened two minutes later. 

The tough twin walked out in boxers and undershirt, stopped short when he realized how many people were about, then turned around with ill humored grumbling to put some pants on. 

The brainy twin had to tread carefully due to the walking boot, so it took him a short time to get to ground level. “Stanley! You're all right!” 

“And you're not. What'd you go and get into? How're we supposed to shove off in this condition?! What about your little chippie? You gonna make her play nurse in the non hanky panky way when she gets here?”

“Soaking up sunshine in the woods, “ Wendy interjected.” She'll show when she's strong enough.”

“Wait, she's here?” Stan blinked. “Thought she wasn't comin’ til Friday.” 

“Last Friday,” Ford replied with alarm in his eyes. “You don't remember the weekend?” 

“Wha-- somebody slip me a Mickey?” Stan chuckled. “so I wouldn't be crass in front of your lady friend?”

“No.” 

“Well ain't that a kick in the pants,” grunted Stan, settling into his chair. “so what'd I miss?” 

“I'll get the recordings. Should have been some external cameras working.”

Wendy put her palm flat on Ford’s chest so he over balanced and toppled into the second easy chair Soos had acquired in town at the second hand store. “You're in no shape to be hiking, Doc Ford. Stay put. Dajan can tell us what happened when she gets here.” 

“Shmebulock!” called a voice from outside. “come in on oath to harm none by word, by deed, or by inaction.” 

The gnome repeated his own name, then pushed Dajan in, seated in a makeshift wheelchair: an old barber chair bolted into a toy wagon. She looked only a little like herself: disturbingly she was now no more than Mabel’s height, although still proportioned like an adult woman. Her hair had resumed its improbable fluffiness. Her ears were still longer and pointed and her eyes were more yellow than green. She waved timidly. “E-everyone on the mend?” 

“You are not Dajan,” whispered Ford suspiciously. 

“My ears are this big right now and you think I won't hear you whispering?” Dajan lowered her head. “But fine, fair point. I don't look like myself. I swear on the eye bat in your cereal box I am Dajan and not the thing from the cave or anyone else.” 

“Neat trick, kid,” Stanley said without malice and getting to his feet. “Hey, Soos, come on and treat your founder to breakfast.” Both hands were still bandaged and bruised, but Stan ruffled Dajan’s hair anyway. “Okay, let's move it. No lookie lous.”

The slam of the door was extra solid to Dajan’s ears. She looked lost in the clean regular Dajan-sized pajamas Wendy had provided, and hid behind her own knees. “Shmeb… Give us the room?” The gnome obediently stepped outside the door as well but the point of his hat was a shadow in the window. 

Ford’s eyes were cold. “... Were you ever going to tell me you're not human?” 

Dajan opened her mouth to answer but a torrent of words followed those. “That you're another filthy shape-shifting monster? That you did Hawking knows what with a week of my brother’s life? Were you just pretending to be understanding when I poured my heart out over trusting Bill Cipher? Did my gun really draw you here? Was any of it real?” By the time Ford fell quiet, jaw tight and breathing through his teeth, his eyes weren't cold anymore. Worse: they were welling with hurt and hopelessness. 

Dajan just stared back with eyes that were a touch greener. She waited until Ford impatiently moved his arm in that same gesture the night of their ridiculous dinner date. The floor, such that it was, was hers.

“OK, in order: I'm about half human… on a good day. I'm not usually a shape shifting monster, filthy or otherwise. The missing week of time was an accident. No, of course I wasn't pretending. Yes, the magnet gun drew the car here and me with it. I didn’t fake the crash.” Dajan’s voice cracked as she continued. ”Every minute was real, Ford. Every goofy attempt to flirt, every embrace, the glowing eyes, even the kiss in the dark. ”

“I don't believe you.” Dajan flinched as though the words were literal barbs, and down the hall, Wendy awakened by the magic of the promise she'd made Khrys. 

Wendy scrambled into her flannel and jeans then stomped barefoot up the hall. “Hey, Professor Pines, I'm not allowed to let any harm come to her while she’s here.” she glowered at him a moment before realizing the house was quiet and empty, though Ford and Dajan had both kept their voices down. “Sorry but I think that means you don't hurt her feelings either. Maybe I should let her crash at our place until you're not ticked off anymore.” 

“I have a promise to keep too,”. Dajan tilted over listlessly until she was resting her head on the armrest. “Guess you can tell Stan where I am when he gets back.”

Wendy glowered at Ford again as she wheeled the gnome assembled contraption around to the front door. She paused sheepishly for her boots, then really did depart. “you need back in the mushrooms?” 

“I need a…” Dajan began, but couldn't bring herself to continue. She simply trailed off into forlorn silence. Wendy took it as a yes. Shmebulock, who had paced along quietly, took the wheelchair and wheeled Dajan the across the mushroom ring’s edge. The floof increased in her hair at once. 

“Relationships are the worst,” Wendy said quietly, sitting back at the tea table which was apparently a permanent fixture now. “Always the drama. Guys have to be such babies!” 

Dajan tried a smile but couldn't quite manage it. “I should have known better. People don't trust me because they can sense the weirdness. I just thought someone used to weirdness would take mine in stride.” 

“You can go do you, Wendy,” Dajan curled up in the chair once again, looking out into the woods. “as long as I'm in the ring I'm safe. The gnome dude is sworn bodyguard.” 

“Can't. I'm sworn bodyguard too. Not allowed to let any harm come to you. I can just chill here. It's nice. Besides, Soos and Stan will be back before long, and I definitely do not want to see the bro fight when Stan finds out the Doc kinda kicked you to the curb.”

Wendy's estimate of before long turned out to be just short of 45 minutes. They weren't so far in the woods that they couldn't hear the doors of the pickup close, then the door to the Shack itself. 

The house was well enough insulated that the voices did not carry. Wendy jolted abruptly, unplugged her headset and called, “will the phone work inside the circle?” 

Dajan shook her head. 

“you okay with speaker? Wendy asked. Receiving a nod in response, Wendy put the phone on speaker. “It’s Mabel.”

Dajan finally managed a wan smile. “Of course it is. Hi, Mabelcakes.”

“Dajan, what's going on? My grunkles never sleep for days at a time! Your phone keeps going to voice mail! Is everything okay?!” 

“My phone is probably buried under rubble, sorry. They're awake, hon, and they're OK. The thing in the bunker is… not gonna bother them again.”

Mabel’s relief was as loud as it was immediate. “Great, so watch the mail. Dipper wrote you a full on apology letter. And then you and Grunkle Ford can get back to the romantic stuff.” 

“Oh, sorry, Mae-Mae, pretty sure that bridge has been burned,” Dajan called to Wendy’s phone. 

“What?!” Dajan winced and shrank a little as she heard the sound of one little girl’s dreams shattering. “No, that's impossible! I gotta go!” with that, Mabel was gone. Although sitting in the sun in the mushroom ring was helping her physically, Dajan returned to her despondent silence. 

“You look a little better,” Wendy ventured. Dajan’s size had increased enough that she could just sit in the chair and have her feet reach the floor of the red wagon the gnomes had bolted to it. 

“Thanks. I think I'll just hang around here until I'm strong enough to head home, and get out of everybody’s hair.” 

“Aw, dude, don't do that,” Wendy spoke up. “you must be some kind of important for your terrifying cousin to threaten to turn us all into a poison oak patch.” 

“My… Terrifying cousin is just indulging her flair for the dramatic. I'm sorry she scared you. She won't do it again. I'll make sure.”

“Gravity Falls has been a little more fun with you around. Soos thinks you hung the moon since you suggested Abuelita’s mystery jams and the web presence.” Wendy laughed, heartily, and Dajan perked up slightly, ears receding a bit. “You sure you have to take off so soon?” 

“Totally sure,” Dajan nodded and got off the wheelchair, shoving it with a bare foot so it rolled past Shmebulock and out of the circle. “Things that get their mojo from mushroom rings have no business trying to romance humans. It never ends well except in fairy tales. Case in point.” 

“Dude!” Wendy jumped to her feet. “you're a freaking magical princess or some shit. You're not a… a Thing! Those girls don't give up!” 

Dajan rolled her eyes. She blinked a few times but they looked like human eyes when she was done. “Only in the movies. Jasmine wasn't magical.Tiana neither. Ariel ended up trying what I did and I nearly wound up as dead as her. Happy endings are not in the cards for my kind.”

“Ariel got messed up on account of a jealous witch! You have the most powerful force in the world on your side. Mabel freakin’ Pines has decided you deserve the happy ending.” 

Dajan found herself smiling genuinely again. “Don't count yourself out, there, Wendy. All this kindness and support is making me feel like myself again.” 

“I may have four brothers but my parents read me those stories. I know that when a fair folk shows up, you better be kind to them. Doc Pines is still in danger of being turned into a Newt.”

“Not by me!” Dajan held her hands out defensively. 

Dajan stepped out of the mushrooms and shrugged. Barefoot, she was now only an inch shorter than Wendy. “Yeah, okay. If you and Mabel both believe it's not a lost cause… I… I guess one try can't hurt.” 

Dajan bent to kiss Shmebulock near the top of his pointed hat. Sparkly lip prints shimmered there for five seconds. “For your troubles. I owe you--and only you--a favor lesser or equal to the one that you have done me. Good lookin’ out, man. You are released until called upon again.”. 

Shmebulock lit up like it was new years eve then scampered into the deeper woods. Wendy looked toward the disappearing gnome and back to Dajan. “Gnomes.” Dajan wobbled a hand in the gesture for uncertain. “Your folks ever read you ‘If you give a mouse a cookie’? Whoever wrote that has dealt with gnomes.”

Wendy blinked at Dajan for a long moment, then burst out laughing as the two walked back out of the woods and toward the Mystery Shack. 

***  
[that 45 minutes or so ago] 

Stan had taken it easy on Soos, and ordered only runny scrambled eggs and coffee. The cheek slash was healing nicely, but it was deeper than it looked, so he avoided anything chewy. 

Soos himself was content with a bowl of breakfast cereal, milk, and maple syrup. He was also content to natter on about nothing, saving Stan from having to make conversation. 

Having no real idea of what a proper quarrel to make up time should be, Stan put three dimes in the jukebox and had it play the three non-C&W songs he could tolerate. When the last one ended, he clapped Soos on the shoulder and paid the bill for them both. Getting a new lease on life was having a mild effect on him. 

So much so that he was whistling as they got back to the house. Soos had the presence of mind to request a bowl of oatmeal and toast for Ford, which he'd ceremoniously handed over. 

Stan opened the door, sauntered jauntily through the gift shop, up the hall and into the living room, not bothering to call a warning. To his surprise, Ford startled at the sound of the door, looking up with saucer eyes. He realized Stan had returned alone, and his face fell. 

“Where'd everyone go?” Stan made a display of listening, a hand cupped to his right ear. He raised a brow expectantly, shoving the to go plate at Ford. “You're killing me here. You got any idea the heroic willpower it takes to not make inappropriate comments?!”

Ford didn't say so much as his brother's name in familiar irritation; Stan stopped smiling. 

“Dajan is gone.”

“Whaddaya mean she's gone? I may have lost the last week, Ford, but I remember the month and some after you wrecked her car, and the test run out on the bay. She was damn near all you could talk about! She was here and now she’s gone? How, man?” 

“You saw her--”

“Yeah…” Stan scratched his head thoughtfully. “Now keep in mind I have a concussion. Because whatever we went through was too weird for a real doctor. But yeah, I saw her. Seriously hot tomato. About Yea high, curly hair, legs that go all the way up. Hates shoes. Completely gaga over you of all people.”

“Which was all some kind of illusion or projection,” Ford protested. “She was sitting right here when you left--!”

“Same hot tomato. Same legs. Same hatred for shoes. Just looked like she'd been hit by a shrink ray. Hardly the oddest thing either of us has seen.” 

“Did you miss the inhuman green eyes and the pointed ears?” Ford asked, voice breaking as some part of him still found the reveal too horrifying to contemplate. “How did you miss that she's not human, Stanley?” 

“Didn't. ” Stan flopped into his own chair and lit a cigar. “She looks like one of the hot elves from that paperwork game you enjoy playing with Dipper. As I recall, you roped her into that once she got here, but she showed up that good-lookin’.”

Stanford blinked at his brother in dumbfounded silence. Some distant part of his backbrain had to admit Stanley’s comparison was… Valid. 

Stanley gave his brother a half lidded stare. “okay, Ford, let me break it down for ya. Obviously whatever we just made it out alive of must have bobbled your big brain. Pines. Men. Don't. Find. Dull. GIRLS. Look at Ma. Look at my history. And don't tell me you left a string of broken hearts behind ya through the portal. You wouldn't have left behind anyone who mattered to ya. Some demure Suzy Homemaker woulda never caught your eye. Some dame with her own agenda either if she wasn't on board with yours.”

“String of -- hah!” Ford’s expression was pretty much the same vendetta-in-the-making he'd worn on his return through the portal. “There was no time for that. Nothing mattered but stopping Cipher,” Ford clenched his teeth on the name. 

“Yeah, and that's done. Over with. The evil triangle is defeated. So the hero gets the girl, then.” 

Ford was silent for a minute. Then, quietly, “I told her what happened with Weirdmageddon.”

“Yeah. I know. And she came back anyway.” 

“And I called her a --” 

“Oh, jeez, you overreacted didn't you.” Stan didn't even bother voicing it as a question. 

Ford still didn't reply. He just stared bleakly. 

“How bad?” 

Ford stuck out his arm, grimacing with pain from his injuries. Held between two fingers as if it were something disgusting, was a sheet of legal paper, on which Ford had neatly written the betrayed diatribe he'd flung at Dajan. 

Stan pushed up his glasses onto his nose. “That bad. So she walked.”

“She couldn't walk. But Wendy took her. I've been here since, hoping she… I don't know… Wasn't listening. Chalked it up to head injury. maybe… Something… How is fifth level calculus child's play, and this too complicated to wrap my head around?” Ford hung his head. “She's gone.” 

“So. Whaddaya gonna do to get her back…?” 

“What? Would you take me back if you were in her shoes?”

“We’re identical twins. Stuck with each other. But she’s something special. I don't think she flipped my circuit breakers. It was the crack to the skull. I get these… flashes.” 

“I wasn't conscious for all of it, but I remember the shape-shifting. In the state I was in at the time…” Ford closed closed his eyes and shuddered. “After the lyrics of that song? Stanley, I was suddenly back in that nightmare pyramid. “

Stanley winced in understanding. His ribbing tone softened. “she didn't know about that part, huh?” 

“Heavily ab--” Ford didn't get to finish his thought. “It's only mid afternoon, isn't it?” 

Stanley looked up. The light had gone out of the sky, and it had turned green, as if a tornado was coming. 

Using Stan’s walking stick, Ford levered to his feet with Stan hot on his heels as they raced toward the kitchen window. All was silence outside. Time had stopped. 

It had been years since the last time twins had done the spooky speaking in one voice thing, but seeing the sky roiling like a bad 80s sci-fi flick and they both whispered “Holy shit!” together. 

 

[Mabel love meter: ?!]  
*****  
Shortly before time stopped:

Dajan and Wendy were about to walk up the back porch steps to the house when there was a sudden poof of lavender smoke that smelled like cotton candy and chamomile -- both energizing and relaxing at the same time. It dissipated to reveal a twenty something blond man with a physique like Stan’s: once athletic but softening due to pursuit of creature comfort. 

.

Wendy and Dajan gaped at him for a second, then each other. Wendy smirked. She'd seen Stan pull that entrance with flash powder to amaze tourists for two summers running now. 

Dajan was more cautious and put out an arm protectively in front of the teen even though she was nowhere near the same height she normally stood. 

“This house is under my protection,” Dajan said quietly. 

“That's super sweet,” said the twenty something. “As if you could protect more than a five year old’s favorite secret. Good thing the house is warded to a fare thee well otherwise. But it just convinces me I made the right decision to swing back.”

Dajan stuck out her lower lip at having been called out. “So, Um, thanks for swinging back…” 

“Sorry, sorry” the blond grinned. “I'm usually here for Woodstick. Most of the Townies know me as Love God. You can call me Woody. ”

“And you knew to come here because…?” Wendy jutted her jaw out. 

“Mabel Pines is the most persistent person on earth,” groaned the Love God, dragging both hands through his curls. “She’s been begging me to come here since--” 

“The phone call.” Dajan gained back another inch in height, even as she facepalmed. “I didn't ask her to do that, um, Cupid.”

“I know, I know, Dajan honey, but when Mabel told me it was the float girl, I had to!”

“The float girl?” repeated Wendy. “There’s a story you haven't told me yet…” 

“You were busy with your float,” explained Dajan reasonably. “I had this cockamamie idea that if Ford hadn't quite got the message yet, I should maybe make the point plain by singing him a love song from on top of the last float in the parade.”

“She was a straight up Roman Candle Cherry Bomb!” the matchmaker gushed. “Spiked me right out of my marathon of ‘Marry the Old Maid’. Had to come see, and wow, could not have done it better with my help. The guy you intended that for must be head over heels.” Wendy’s frantic “shut it, stop, don't go there” gesticulating went unnoticed. 

“You'd think,” Dajan said, tugging anxiously on a curl of her hair. “Only a nasty thing, like a Fomor or something, tricked him, kidnapped him and--” 

“Oh my drama! Tell me you formed a rescue party! Reverse damsel in distress almost never happens!”

Dajan sat down on the sofa. “Long story short, I had been keeping my true nature under wraps because reasons, but when the Thing was gonna torture Ford and kill his loved ones in front of him. I didn't really have a choice, did I? I popped the seal on my magic. Tried to only use a bit, but as the fight went on, I knew I had to pull out the stops if Stan and Ford were gonna make it.”

“So...you…” wheedled the love avatar. 

“Did what I had to do. I made the thing forget it could shapeshift and I set it on fire.”

“Kill it with fire,” Wendy gave Dajan a thumbs up. “Always a good choice.” Blond curls seemed to agree. 

“So action movie rescue, badass walk from the explosion, and… How did it go wrong?”

“I guess I reminded him of something. So now he thinks I'm an icky thing and doesn't want anything to do with me.” Dajan blinked back tears, and the Love God put a beefy arm around her shoulders. 

“You poor thing! No wonder Mabel called me.”

“How did she know to?” Wendy asked. “She's in California.” 

“Internet, honeychile,” LG chuckled. “Live feed of the parade. Facebook. Instagram.”

“So you've come to try helping us sort it out?” 

“Well, yeah. I know my boy Shakes said the course of true love never did run smooth, but come on. He accidentally pulled you into his house with mad science! You serenaded him in front of the whole town from a parade float! She's a genuine manic pixie! He's a monster fighter! How much better match could there be?”

Dajan didn't bother to point out that while manic might apply, she wasn't a pixie. 

“He's a scientist. He's not gonna go for a love potion,” Dajan got up, shaking her head and walking down the steps again. “And neither would I. It's cheating. We could have enchanted him if I wanted quick and fake!”

LG sighed. “A lot of people feel that way these days. Besides, I think your guy is maybe regretting his harsh response.”

The sky abruptly turned dark, and the wind stopped blowing. 

“Which is where I come in,” said a new voice. 

Dajan, LG, and Wendy looked up as an androgynous figure walked out of the nearest tree trunk. “Hey, Woody.” 

“Chae!” The love god flapped his little wings and flew over to share an embrace with the newcomer. “Ladies, meet Eris, God of chaos.”

“Uh, charmed,” Dajan said looking up at the sudden change of weather. “is this because we have two deities in town?” 

“Well, I do like to make an entrance,” Eris said. “But the chaos level is so high here. It's like you laid out the welcome mat. But the thing of it is… Woody here decided we should help you sort out this tedious love mess…” 

“Well, yeah, about that…? I appreciate the thought but, no. Make it real or else forget about it.” Dajan folded her arms. “This is getting way too complicated.”

“That's the problem, my lil golden apple. Your apple of your eye? He’s got competition now. I just came to warn you.” 

“Say what?” Dajan turned to look between the two deities. 

“Gravity Falls? We’re powerhouses. Outside? Slightly better than gifted humans,” Woody explained. “You said you hadn't popped the seal on your personal stash of magic yet, Cherry Bomb, but the stars were aligned just right and love is its own kinda magic. Some people thought you were singing to them. Or just liked what they saw and want to possess it.” 

“And if she leaves Gravity Falls?” Wendy asked. 

“There are a few neutral zones on earth. She'll need to hide forever or until the effect wears off and her admirers forget,” Eris shrugged. “Or true love breaks the spell. The second the two of us let go, time resumes flowing, and they're already on the way.”

“This is…” Dajan stammered. 

“Horribly unfair,” Woody sighed, “But you got your wish. A chance to make up with your Prince Charming without any fake interference. If he truly returns your feelings, he will come for you!”

Eris picked up. “If not… Well, maybe you’ll learn to like one of your other suitors. One of the ones who doesn't want you eat you for a snack with a side of couscous. And the ones that won't snap you in half like a stick when they discover you're not full blooded… ”

Wendy dashed to the nearest bush to throw up. 

“You gotta tell the guys,” Dajan said in a shaking voice. “I'm literally gonna bring disaster to their door. I can't stay.” 

“You got no magic left to defend yourself until you recharge. Even then, some of these guys way out gun you,” Woody reminded Dajan. “Your cousin talks a good game but is only a little better. Arcadia will laugh in your face if you run home, and you're not gonna stay here?!”

“You don't understand what this town has been through. I can't do that to them again. Find me one who just wants a nightingale and I'll… go with them willingly.”

“You love these people this much?” Eris asked, impressed. 

“I love the Pines family, and they love the town. So suit me up, tell them what's going on, and hand me over. Wendy, been fun. Make sure the guys know the whole story.” 

“You got it.” 

Dajan took a deep breath, and gave Woody a thumbs up. The Love God bit his lower lip regretfully, and snapped his fingers. A swirl of pink and violet glitter rained on Dajan from above. By the time it reached her still-bare feet, she'd been given the full fairy princess makeover. Flowers in her hair, dripping with impossible filigree jewelry, and her human appearance gone. 

“Lotsa luck little nightingale,” whispered Eris. 

“... Can't I say goodbye?” 

“I think we have time for that.” 

Reality rippled like a pond, folded, and reset. The sky went normal again and inside, the Pines Brothers breathed a sigh of relief. Until there were suddenly two strangers in the house with Wendy… Who hadn't come in by the door. 

“Which one of them is Ford, Wendy?”

“That one.” Wendy pointed, glaring at Ford, who stood up straight as he could given the injury, but whose eyes made clear his confusion and wariness. 

“Okay,” said Eris, snapping their fingers. 

Dajan appeared, in the outfit she'd agreed to, hanging in mid air. She stared ahead at nothing, as if in stasis. 

“Kid!” 

“Dajan!” Ford’s wariness changed instantly to cold fury. “What have you done to her?” 

“Nothing she hasn't agreed to,” Eris sneered. “And I'd mind my tone unless you want to write everything down with snake hands and no mouth.” 

“Love God,” introduced Wendy sardonically, “God of chaos. And because of Gravity Falls being full of the weird, they have full power here but not so much outside town. You better listen to their pitch.”

“Lay it on us,” Stan spoke for his brother who had stood in slack jawed horror since Eris had threatened to turn him into a snake hand thing. 

The story went quicker in the retelling, mostly since they essentially replayed the original telling. 

Stan, despite the seriousness in his eyes, grinned and punched his brother with his good arm. “Well, you wished for a chance to get her back…!”

Ford blinked, looking heartsick and a little lost. “she's going without a goodbye?” 

“She specifically asked for a chance to say goodbye. We’re not monsters.” Eris rolled their eyes and with a snap of their fingers, Dajan was awake and present in the living room with them all, floating face to face with where Ford stood. 

“Dajan…”

Dajan’s smile was watery. “Save it for when I see you again. For now?” She reached up with both hands, closed her eyes, and laid the gentlest kiss on his still bruised lips. One tear rolled down her cheek and landed on Ford’s hand. Despite the fact that she looked fey and strange again, he didn't hesitate to reach for her to return the kiss. 

The instant Dajan’s lips left Ford's, there flashed a burst of energy like a bubble popping, and Dajan vanished, leaving Ford trying to embrace nothing. Eris was also gone. 

“So you gonna quest to save the girl? You totally are, right?” Woody asked.

Wendy said nothing but stared daggers at Ford. 

“Like this?” Ford spread his hands helplessly. “How am I supposed to fight otherworldly menaces in my current condition?” 

The Love God tossed his head back with laughter. “I know you guys are out of his demographic, right, but Ford, you tried as a kid to figure out Santa Claus. For us mythical types, it is all about who believes in us. And right now, nobody believes you and your songbird deserve to be together more than--” 

“Mabel,” Ford blinked, even as he spoke her name. 

“Mabel. And since about six hours ago, she's been begging me to help you two get your happy ending. Non-stop. To the exclusion of all else. She is drowning out everyone else who believes, man. I literally can't hear anything else but this conversation and her.”

“Meaning what?” demanded Stan. “We’re not so sanguine on the dealmaking with extra human entities.” Stan glanced back at Ford who'd sunken back into an easy chair. “Yeah, I'm capable of five dollar words when I want. Deal with it.”

“No deals,” the Love God said, holding out a placating hand. “Between your captive birdie and your determined niece, this is a freebie, and it includes the both of you because Dajan committed a selfless act of love to protect what you love, and Mabel has out of love for you.”

“All Ford has to do is confirm he wants to move the narrative from boy loses girl, to boy gets girl, and I'll do what I can to help. Love will find a way.”

“We can take Mabel to Disneyland to say thanks later,” determination was seeping back into Ford’s voice. “Of course I want her back.”

Stan laughed and raised a bandaged fist into the air. “Attaboy, Sixer!” 

[Mabel love meter please stand by screen]


End file.
